If you’re a new VA and you’ve been ghosted for the first, maybe second time, after a discovery call there’s a high chance you’re questioning whether it’s your rates. Maybe you’ve even discussed the ghosting with a friend, your partner, or anyone else who’s never been a VA and they’ve confirmed that ‘no one is going to pay you £35 an hour for a bit of admin’.
Well, kiddo, let’s put them in the bin and close the lid for a few minutes so I can prove to you that it’s sod all to do with your price – actually it could be, but I’ll leave that bit until last.
Now, ghosting happens to us all. We’ve had what we thought was a perfectly good discovery call, sent over our contract and then…
Nothing.
Gone.
Potential client no longer seems able to answer an email
Even if you didn’t question your pricing
You probably started analysing everything you said.
- Did I talk too much?
- Did I not talk enough?
- Should I have followed up?
- Why do they hate me?
- Am I actually terrible at this?
- Was I not professional enough?
- I knew I should’ve worn the blouse and not the ‘People Piss Me Off’ t-shirt.
I know how quickly those thoughts can knock your confidence, particularly when you’re a new Virtual Assistant and every enquiry feels like this could at last be your ticket out of your 9-5, right?
It’s also bloody rude, right?
Why do clients ghost after discovery calls with Virtual Assistants?
First off I want you to understand why some people ghost as opposed to just saying ‘nah’.
Some people hate the thought of confrontation – they worry about the ‘consequences’. They don’t want to say ‘I don’t think we’ll be a good fit’, they don’t want to knock your confidence by saying ‘I don’t think your level of Zapier knowledge is quite enough’, they don’t want to say ‘I can’t afford you because I’m not yet earning enough in my own business’.
Even though there won’t be any animosity. Even though you’re not going to turn around and say to them ‘do you know what, I am going to ruin your business and your reputation for not working with me because my ego has been knocked’. Some people genuinely hate the thought of being negative, or letting someone down, or saying no. Maybe they’ve had a bad experience before. They can’t do it. So, they avoid it.
I can come at this from both sides – as the VA and as a client who has hired VAs and associates.
So today we’re (okay, I’m) going to talk about the things that could be making a potential client quietly back away after your discovery call, and what you might need to do a little differently.
Let’s start with the actual call.
Did you qualify them first?
THIS is the biggest problem.
We’re too much of a floozy with our discovery call booking links. Making them available to every Tom, Dick and Harry from the moment your website loads, or worse still, it’s the only link on your socials.
Imagine right, would you be able to book a call with Jeff Bezos? No, you’d need to be qualified first and that is exactly what we should be doing too. Do it like Jeff.
You need to make sure that the potential client knows what you charge and you also need to find out what they are looking for help with so you know it’s something you can actually do. All of that needs to be done before they even get the www. part of your disco booking call link.
If you don’t that, it could be wasted time for both of you and is one of the major reasons people are ghosted after a call! Fact!
Like I said, not qualifying a potential client is the major ghosting trigger and is exactly why I created my How to Convert Enquiries into Paying Clients training, because having a discovery call isn’t the first step to getting a client.
Your body language is talking even when you aren’t
I’m going to draw on my own experience as a Lead VA when I was taking on an associate to cover a client’s work for me.
There was a particular part of the role that I’d made very clear was essential. Not ‘would be nice’. Not ‘maybe occasionally’.
It was listed on the job opp as being essential they were expert level. It was a huge part of the role.
So during the call I asked her to confirm that she could use that piece of software at expert level.
She had maintained great eye contact throughout the call but when she answered this question… she looked away.
Again, that doesn’t automatically mean somebody is lying. Maybe they were momentarily distracted, but my gut picked up on it and I decided not to proceed.
I didn’t ghost her, I explained my decision – that I was concerned about her knowledge of the software as she didn’t seem confident when asked.
She admitted she had in fact lied and thought she’d have been able to learn it via YouTube.
But can you appreciate how difficult that conversation is for a client, even by email. What if I’d been wrong? Should I have lied in my reply?
A discovery call isn’t an interrogation, you are the client’s equal. You don’t need to perform.
But we do need to think about what we’re communicating beyond the words coming out of our mouth.
Avoid distraction
Obviously, some things can’t be helped but some things can. I’m going to cover both here…
During another call with a VA interested in supporting my clients, she kept disappearing sideways towards her ankle. On about the seventh time I asked if she was okay. ‘Yeah’ she replies, ‘my cat’s down here. I’m stroking him’.
Now, this isn’t anti-cat propaganda. I like cats – on the whole. However, the nervous cat from across the road, Flora, has suddenly become quite bold and is using one of our borders as her own personal spraying area and toilet, so she can get lost!
Anyway… it was incredibly off putting watching her look away and to the floor every few seconds. You know what it’s like when you’re talking to someone and you think they’d rather be anywhere but listening to you.
I’m trying to have a conversation with somebody about potentially trusting them with my client’s work, and they don’t appear to be fully present. How is that going to look when they’re on calls with the client?
I know the calls are nerve wracking at first, and she was more than likely helping her nerves by self soothing. I totally get that. I appreciate that too. BUT… it doesn’t show an interest in the other person on the call, and we need to show an interest. We need to show we’re listening.
Sometimes unexpected things happen. A child might walk in. The doorbell might go. The cat might launch itself at your head. It’s fine.
That’s life. You’re working from home.
But do consider whether, if you were the potential client, it’s something you’d think to yourself ‘hmm, is this going to interfere with how present they are when they’re doing the work for me?’
For example, if middle child decides to fall through the ceiling during a call, just calmly say ‘Sorry about that, he will be at daycare when I am working on your tasks’.
For those fifteen minutes, be there.
Move your smalls
Are there knickers drying on the radiator behind you? I was having a call with a client once and, as you do, you look around their room while they’re talking, having a nosey and behind her was a radiator with washing on. Now, I had a great relationship with her – still do – so I jokingly said ‘are they your knickers drying on the radiator?‘. THEY WERE! Haaaa. And she’d had a call before ours with a potential client of her own. I am laughing writing this.
But, I do think your background shouldn’t be avoidably chaotic. I mean, house moves, renovations, can’t be helped, but if you’re living with someone who collects empty Amazon boxes and they’re falling around behind you, and you’re offering to bring calm to a client’s life, then I’m not sure if the messaging might get mixed.
Enthusiasm matters
Another thing I’ve experienced is somebody sounding completely unenthusiastic on a call.
Then sending me an email afterwards that sounded REALLY enthusiastic.
And I thought: Where the bloody hell was this person half an hour ago?
In your head, you might be thinking: ‘I WANT THIS CLIENT SO MUCH.’
But what they’re experiencing is: ‘Hmm, hmm, Yeah. Fine. Whatever.’
They can’t hear your internal monologue. It’s absolutely fine to show enthusiasm.
So if you’re naturally quiet, nervous, reserved, whatever it might be, keep saying to yourself:
‘They are my equal. I’m deciding whether I want to work with them just as much as they’re deciding whether they want to work with me. VAs change business owners’ lives.’
Get used to talking about your services but avoid the negative words like ‘mundane’, ‘basic’, ‘boring’ or ‘tedious’. Because nothing that we do is any of those and if you use those words, and the client doesn’t, you’re suggesting that you find what you do boring.
Get used to showing enthusiasm and not nerves:
‘Yes, absolutely, I can help you with that.’
‘I enjoy doing that’
‘It’s one of my most asked for services. I really enjoy it’
Get used to saying your prices without your voice suddenly going three octaves higher or ‘but new clients can have 99% off…’.
Get used to asking questions. Have some prepared. Even things like ‘Have you worked with a VA before?’. No – okay so would you like me to explain how it works or do you know already? Yes, oh that’s great, so you know how it works already.
You aren’t trying to become someone else.
You’re making sure the person on the other side can actually see someone who enjoys what they do and who loves their business.
Speed matters
How quickly are you following up after a call? Minutes, hours, days, a week?
Personally, anything longer than an hour? Too long.
And I know somebody will be reading this thinking:
‘I’ve got a life, you know’’
Maybe it isn’t long for you.
But this is the point.
Your potential client has just finished a conversation in which they’ve decided they might want to work with you.
That’s when they’re warmest – most likely to convert.
They’re thinking about the problem.
They’re thinking about getting help.
You’re the solution.
Don’t unnecessarily introduce a gap where they can cool off, speak to somebody else or lose the enthusiasm you gave them on the call.
Always end a call by saying when you’ll follow up by / summarise what you’ve discussed and make sure you stick to it because they’ll be making a decision based on that too.
And make their next step easy.
Is your onboarding process overwhelming?
Another major ghosting trigger, and something I see happening in enquiry and onboarding processes is Too. Many. Things.
If you’re giving your client a million things at once to look through and action, you’re going to overwhelm them. They’re already busy and you’ve just promised to make their life easier, not harder.
- ‘Sign this.’
- ‘Now read this.’
- ‘Click here.’
- ‘Pay this.’
- ‘Fill this in.’
- ‘Book this.’
- ‘Create an account here.’
- ‘Send me this.’
- ‘Here’s 20% off your next wine order at Majestic’
Jesus Christ, I only wanted you to manage my inbox.
Every additional step is another opportunity for somebody to stop.
Obviously there are things you need.
You need your contract signed. You need payment. You need information to do the work.
I’m not saying throw your entire business process in the bin.
I’m saying look at it through your client’s eyes.
- Can you combine anything?
- Can you automate anything?
- Is it ALL really necessary?
This is exactly why I created my How to Convert Enquiries into Paying Clients training, because getting an enquiry is only the beginning. In that fast-track training I mention quite a few things that I go into much more detail on to help you get everything right from enquiry to onboarding.
So… why did they ghost you?
The slightly annoying answer is:
You might never know.
- Maybe they couldn’t afford you.
- Maybe they changed their mind.
- Maybe their circumstances changed.
- Maybe they found somebody else.
- Maybe their dog ate their laptop.
You cannot analyse every person who disappears and decide it means something about your ability to be a VA.
But you can look at the bits you control.
- Were you engaged on the call?
- Did you appear interested in their business?
- Did your body language match what you were saying?
- Did you make them feel confident that you could do what they needed?
- Did you tell them clearly what happens next?
- Did you follow up when you said you would?
- Did you send the contract promptly?
- Did you show love and enthusiasm for your own business?
- Were you genuine?
- Was the next step simple?
Or did you accidentally send them on an administrative assault course?
When it might be your prices
Now, at the beginning I said that it could be your price and here’s why…
If you’re doing everything above but charging something like £20 an hour then there’s a high chance the ghosting is happening because your price is far too low. Potential clients think the same as anyone ‘pay cheap, pay twice’, or ‘what’s wrong if it’s so much cheaper than everywhere else’.
Don’t come at me with the ‘I’m a new VA’ either, because… no one is paying you for the length of time you’ve been in business. That’s irrelevant. They’re paying you for the services you can provide, and you’re not learning those as you go, because you’re only offering services you’re confident and competent at. Right? Right!
Before your next discovery call
Promise me…
If you’ve already got my How to Convert Enquiries into Paying Clients training bloody watch it. It’s literally an hour and in it I even have a mock discovery call for you to watch so you can see that your brain is potentially making them seem a million times harder than they actually need to be.
You’ve got this. It is possible. You do deserve it.